Surprise thats healthy

I had a moment of shock this Saturday when Liana and her friend came downstairs in the morning and asked me to drive them to the store to get Oreos. When I said no she kind of got mad. I understand there are some days you just need an Oreo or something however I know there are better ways to handle that and in that moment I realized I have been basically doing my transformation alone when I should have been including the family more.

So my mission for Saturday (remember 2014 is my mission not intermission), was to cook clean all day and have the family enjoy it.

First up I made some homemade chicken soup. They love that when I make it. Only this time I made my own stock rather than use store bought with all of the sodium and additives. Jeff said the only thing it was missing were dumplings so he whipped up a batch. At this point I hadn't planned on them wanting those so I made a mental note that next time I would try finding a clean recipe for biscuits or something.

After that I thought why not try a snack the kids would like. Kevin is always hiking or doing something physical. Liana always has a sweet tooth.

I decided to make some protein bites. They consisted of natural peanut butter, vanilla protein powder, oats, chia seeds,  dash of salt. I mixed it all up and waited for the kids to get home to sample my secretly healthy snack.

Liana and her friend didn't like them at all. Kevin isn't sure how to feel about them yet and Tonia liked them a little. I loved them of course.

I tried using the same ingredients above and smooshing a banana and some cinnamon chips. None of the kids will try them.

I'm not going to give up though. I will slowly convert them over to clean eating at my house. They already do at their dads.

Meanwhile I think I'll ask Brian about these protein bites as part of my weekly meal plan. They ate yummy and the only thing not on my plan is the chia seeds.

Honest rant

I've never been a big fan of February. It seems like that is when I start to feel antsy and ready for spring to burst me out of the winter funk I feel like I get into. Apparently this year is going to be no exception to that. I have been able to stay busy this winter, which I was hoping would help keep me positive and in better February spirits. Today I realized that's not going to happen.

Perhaps its an accumulation of things that have gone on or maybe its just a bad day.

I was so looking forward to some things in my near and distant future and maybe its because I have realized those things are not going to happen but I am in a funk. I was so excited about the idea of going to Uganda. The idea of going and providing care and just being part of something like that has always been something I have wanted to do. Honestly I have always kind of thought I would love to be in the Peace Corps or something like that.  Anyway I was really looking forward to this trip. After talking with the organizer of the trip and getting a little more details as well as doing some honest soul searching I made the decision not to go. Its expensive (although less expensive than taking a touristic trip). I just think its irresponsible of me to plan such a trip at this stage of my life. Jeff is just getting back to work and at a much (much) different rate than he is used to, I want to try to send Liana to some sort of camp this summer. I'm not sure what or where yet but she needs something to do other than sit on the couch and watch TV. Kevin is in the middle of his junior year which means I need to start saving some money for next year. Being a senior is expensive. That's not counting which adult child and/or relative is going to need things.  Bottom line is not this time.

Also I made the decision to continue my education. After I did that I got to thinking and I actually have no desire to be a hospital nurse. The idea does not appeal to me at all. I love office nursing. I love the follow through you have. I love how you almost become part of the families and they turn to you for all events in their lives, good and bad.

Usually in February I start tanning because it helps my psoriasis. This year it is worse than it has ever been and I just can't afford to go right now. I can soon and honestly it doesn't really bother me except since my surgery. Its so bad on my face and daily at least someone has something to say about it. I've been feeling myself withdrawal socially and keep my hair in my face and all of the usual things I do to not be noticed.

Last Sunday I started feeling like crap. I thought it was because I felt so good Saturday and maybe overdid it a little. It really hasn't let up yet. Not sick crap just run down and my nose is so very sore. Not to mention I can't breathe.  I've been managing but each night I fall in bed before 9:00 and just don't have the spunk I'm used to. Last night at workout I was so damn winded and my muscles felt as if it was the first time I had ever used them.

There is a point to all of this whining. I have worked very hard to change things in my life. I have the new me in my minds eye and if I focus on these things I will continue down the path of feeling bad for myself until i am the over weight depressed complainer that is just sitting on the couch waiting for the impeding health issue that ruins my life.  I have to hold myself accountable. To do that I have to own up to what's been going on and move on. I have three beautiful children who are my whole life. A step(ish) daughter who is creative and a boyfriend that seems like was made just for me. Two of the greatest sisters and the best Mom in the world who has given us the best Stepdad. My whole family is unique and wonderful. Add to that the Sister Friends I have and I am so blessed.

I refuse to go down my usual path of self destruction. So I may need to take a little longer to catch my breath after this surgery, I still am pushing forward and I am going to get overall healthy. I am still on task of making the best Me this year.

February has many special events that I am looking forward to and I WILL enjoy the celebrations. Several family member birthdays. The 14th is my anniversary for not smoking. The 25th is my anniversary with my Love Jeff and my work friends are planning another girls get together. I refuse to be anything but present and cheery for everyday! I have been reading a great book by Louise L. Hay called "You can heal your life" and I am going to use those affirmations to help drag me out of my funk.

I apologize to everyone for being grumpy lately. I love the people in my life and never want to subject you to that. Thanks for sticking with me as I work through these things.

Blue Ribbon winner???

My good friend Elizabeth A.K.A. Darling (said in the Queens proper English) always says everything's better after a cup of tea. I have found recently how true that is. Oftentimes in the afternoon I feel as if I should just punch people in the throat and get on with it. As you know I think the world would be a much better place if 1. More people watched the Golden Girls, although lately I am in love with Modern Family. 2. If you could just give people a quick jab in the throat to cure what ails them. It really isn't prudent to go around punching people in the throat and would cause way bigger problems. Historically I would grab a handful of chocolates or something and be done with it. Now however that is counterproductive to my goals.  So I have take Darlings advice and begun sipping an afternoon tea. She is right and it does hit your reset button.

I got to thinking how wonderful Darling has been. She always cheers our office up and Mondays and Tuesdays are so much fun with her. Not to mention she is always a sounding board and just a level headed friend. I thought it would be nice to do a little gesture to show her how much I appreciate her.  The clear choice would be some glasses as she is always loosing hers however I wanted something different.

I decided I would try my hand at making some sort of tea biscuit or cookie for her.  I found a quick and easy recipe calling for only 3 ingredients and decided I would whip them up last night.

The directions said to mix well and that the mixture will be flaky. At that time you are supposed to kneed the mix until no longer flaky. I pounded and turned and that crap never stopped being flaky. So I tweaked it and added a little water and started the process of beating it again. Finally I had a ball that stayed together long enough for me to roll it out, cut and bake.

They look pitiful. I rolled one pan to thin so it burnt. These are not blue ribbon winners.

I think I will just go to Wegmans and buy Darling some tea cookies and tell her how much I appreciate her.

This afternoon I am going to try homemade dog biscuits though. Hopefully with better success.