Thursday, February 18, 2016

How quickly we forget

I've been on a journey lately to find the perfect underwear for a fat girl. For real this is a problem. I won't go into the details but it's really not as easy as one would think. This past year I have gained almost all of the weight back that I had lost. It's  upsetting that I'm starting back at square one but the truth is I did what I had to do to survive.

The day before yesterday I started having anxiety. It's really nothing new for me as I've had it for years, usually around the time mother nature visits. I've been able to manage it very well with magnesium, and some other things, however this time it wasn't working. Yesterday it got really bad. I have some rescue medication I got when my mom passed away that didn't even touch it. I was very near a full blown panic attack by the time I left work yesterday. I ran to Walmart to get yet another type of undies to try and decided if I was going to snap out of this I had to try everything I know to do so. I reached out to a friend, I did positive self talk, breathing exercises and I headed to the gym. I haven't been to the gym in a long time due to financial reasons & let me tell you it was just like the first time. Sweat appeared about half way through my first set of reps. I pretty much kept my head down and plugged away and guess what, by the time I headed out to my car my anxiety was gone. I got the best night sleep I've had in a long time & this morning I feel fantastic.

The familiar feeling of sore muscles makes me happy. I had forgotten this wonderful side effect of going to the gym. The anxiety reduction side. For me it's not about fitting comfortably into my clothes (which is way better than not), it's about being healthy. Mind, body & spirit. I haven't made that a priority in a long time, and I see now how big of a mistake that was.

For now I'm still on a quest for great undies, but I'm also on a quest for a better me.

No comments:

Post a Comment