I was so proud of myself today. I woke up and had my positive outlook back. It's been a hell of a year and it seems like everyday something has gone wrong. Even if it's something minor something has happened. Last week I kind of felt like it all came to a head. I took the weekend to reevaluate and felt positive I had it all in perspective today. I went to work where I feel as if I worked hard and was looking so forward to getting to the gym after then home for dinner & homework.
When I walked in the door (later than planned), I was greeted by a mountain of laundry that was literally piled higher than the washer. Where did all of this come from? It's not as if I didn't spend my entire weekend doing laundry yet here is this pile. I decided to change out of my work clothes before I tackled it & saw Jeff. Who is still sick & told me when he got home the house was about 40° because the heater went out. Kevin hasn't had dinner yet, who knows where Liana is. As I climb the stairs my phone dings indicating I have a message. My Mom tells me how my Aunt Barb died. She apparently went to get the mail, fell & froze to death.
That is the point I lost my shit.
My heart is hurting so much thinking of this. I can't imagine how my cousins are feeling. I can't wrap my head around this. I came downstairs to at least start the laundry & as I started filling it up the water came out all dirty & gritty. Based on that & the fact that water is coming out in spurts in the rest of the house leads me to believe there might be a main break somewhere in town.
Really none of the other bullshit in life matters. What matters is my loved ones. It matters that Jeff is feeling so sick. It matters that Sam seems to know my emotions & reacts accordingly. It matters that Kevin saw me crying & gave me a hug & spends time joking around with me while I'm finally getting him dinner at 8:30 at night. It matters that Liana & Brandon are doing math homework at the kitchen table (now that I've located her). It matters that tomorrow I celebrate 10 years with my very best friend. I don't give a shit what else is happening.
