Today I was shocked. I have had to make some choices and make some adjustments. Some have been difficult, some fun, some painful & through all of them I have felt OK. Then today I thought I was alright with another change I had to make & surprisingly it shook me to the core. The two people that probably read this nonsense know me well enough to know that I don't make decisions lightly. I think then rethink then over think. I weigh the pros & cons, I make lists. I obsess until I'm confident I have made the right choice. But today after the choice was made I felt like I was kicked in the gut. Like I lost a very good friend. A deep sadness that I haven't been able to shake all day.
Add to that fact that I allowed someone to make me question my skills and abilities as a nurse, when I know better than to let this person get to me.
To come home and have to calm Liana down after her "father" tears her down emotionally again.
I over cooked the steaks.
Laundry's backed up. Sink is full of dishes. There is dust everywhere. And I've got a ton of homework that I have to ace.....
It started this morning when I was ready to walk out the door and I started sobbing & couldn't stop. Then I transitioned to anger over the mean girl to overwhelming panic at the tasks.
I am having one major pity party right now. Why? I mean really its the stupidest thing I've done in a while. There are people out there with real problems yet here I sit feeling sorry for myself.
So this is it. I'm going to use the advice my wise friend Monica gave and allow myself today / tonight but tomorrow its time to put my head on straight again and keep fighting the good fight.
