It occurred to me today that a lot of people assume I don't know a lot. Really I mean that just like it sounds. Then I thought perhaps its the way I allow them to feel. Recently when I started a new job I felt like some of the staff that was there before me felt less than optimistic about my arrival than I did. So sometimes to try to fit in with them I would ask them questions to things I might already have known the answer to. Or certain topics might come up that they disagreed with me on and rather than argue the point I might say flippantly oh what would I know, I've only been a nurse for a couple of years. In fact I did know but I wasn't going to argue and make these new coworkers dislike me even more. The end result being of course they still have little confidence in me LOL. They probably don't know that I am passionate about this job and I read and research everything I can get my hands on. They probably have no idea that I have a whole lot of experience that I bring to the table from my life before a nurse that makes me good at what I do.</p>
<p dir=ltr>This whole ramble has nothing to do with my current job or coworkers. I simply added that as an example. </p>
<p dir=ltr>The truth is I do this with everyone. Even Jeff. I just basically allow people to assume I have little to bring to the table because its easier that way. The problem is I do know things but somewhere along the way I stopped believing I do. At any given time I can hear a conversation or be part of one and I will know something about what they are talking about or researching or whatever and I will think the appropriate response but not feel confident enough to let on that I know. </p>
<p dir=ltr>That's dumb!</p>
<p dir=ltr>That's actually one of the most absurd things I have ever heard yet that's what I do.</p>
<p dir=ltr>So when I say on here that I am going to try (or do) new things its basically to prove to myself and others (I suppose) that I am capable of doing more in life than laundry and blood pressures. </p>
<p dir=ltr> Its about reminding myself that I still want to be part of something bigger out of life and I am more than capable. I used to know I was "The Shit". Somewhere between my divorce and loosing my job I forgot I was. To some this may seem like a silly little thing but to me its everything.
*** again I would like to say this post has absolutely nothing to do with my current job. I work for and with some Awesome people who are the top in the industry and I am so proud to be part of their bigger movement. This simply has to do with me personally and I referenced my employment as an example only
